Kids Say The Darnest Things

Author unknown.
JACK (age 3) was watching his Mom breast-feeding hisnew baby sister. After a while he asked: "Mom why haveyou got two? Is one for hot and one for cold milk?"

MELANIE (age 5) asked her Granny how old she was.Granny replied she was so old she didn't rememberany more. Melanie said, "If you don't remember youmust look in the back of your panties. Mine say fiveto six ."

STEVEN (age 3) hugged and kissed his Mom good night."I love you so much that when you die I'm going tobury you outside my bedroom window."

BRITTANY (age 4) had an earache and wanted a painkiller. She tried in vain to take the lid off the bottle.Seeing her frustration, her Mom explained it was a child-proofcap and she'd have to open it for her. Eyes widewith wonder, the little girl asked: "How does itknow it's me?"

SUSAN(age 4) was drinking juice when she got thehiccups. "Please don't give me this juice again,"she said, "It makes my teeth cough."

DJ (age 4) stepped onto the bathroom scale andasked: "How much do I cost?"

MARC (age 4) was engrossed in a young couple thatwere hugging and kissing in a restaurant. Withouttaking his eyes off them, he asked his dad: "Why ishe whispering in her mouth?"

CLINTON(age 5) was in his bedroom looking worried.When his Mom asked what was troubling him, hereplied, "I don't know what'll happen with this bedwhen I get married. How will my wife fit in?"

JAMES(age 4) was listening to a Bible story. His dadread: "The man named Lot was warned to take his wifeand flee out of the city but his wife looked backand was turned to salt." Concerned, James asked:"What happened to the flea?"

TAMMY(age 4) was with her mother when they met anelderly, rather wrinkled woman her Mom knew. Tammylooked at her for a while and then asked, "Whydoesn't your skin fit your face?"The Sermon I think this Mom will never forget....this particular Sunday sermon..."Dear Lord," theminister began, with arms extended toward heaven anda rapturous look on his upturned face. "Without you,we are but dust..." He would have continued but atthat moment my very obedient daughter who waslistening leaned over to me and asked quite audiblyin her shrill little four year old girl voice, "Mom,what is butt dust?"

Thanks Kimberly!

I have one to add.
My brother (at age 12)
He was trying to get a piece of scotch tape off of the kitchen table. Our mom said "Use some elbow grease" When she turned around he was rubbing his elbow on the tape.

TDK