Wasn't me...

OK, so my neighbor lady is like 60 something I live in a string of about 8 houses on the edge of my small town, everyone out there is in their 50's, 60's or 70's. I am 33, so there is a generation gap or two between me and my neighbors.
So when I got out of my truck after work yesterday, she says she wants to talk to me. So I am like sure, and she turned and walked away, I am like oh shit it is about the dog shit.
Sure enough she walks me clear back around her house and says "Look at this I do not appreciate this."
I say "understandable..."
she says, "and that pine tree that borders our property line, He did his business all around it, I do not appreciate your dog using it for a restroom. AND I WANT YOU TO CLEAN IT UP!"
With a straight face, I said "Your kidding, and he told me he has been pooping in the corn field."
She replied with a straight face and a little angry "Well He’s LYING!"

If I had a Dollar...

If I had a dollar for every time someone said "There is just something about you" I would be a Millionaire.

If I had a dollar for every time someone said "Your such an asshole" I would be a Billionaire.

If I had a dollar for every time I had sex, I would be the world's cheapest Gigalo.

If I had a dollar every time that I masturbated, I would be a self made Millionaire.

If I had a dollar for every time someone said "Damn you are HOT!" I wouldn't be able to afford the gas I put in my car.

If I had a dollar for every time I said "I am never drinking again" I could throw an annual party for years to come.

If I had a dollar for every time I told someone my opinion. Warren Buffet would be trying to buy into my gig.

If I had a dollar for every penny I have ever made. Well let's just say I would be a little bit happier right now.

Later,
TDK